For anyone familiar or unfamiliar with my previous work, let’s take a stroll down spooky memory lane.
October has been a very bittersweet month for me for several years now. I experienced a huge life-changing event in October 2012 that has left a lasting mark on me forever and anytime Fall comes around again I start to look back on the good, the bad, and the down right ugly. Love for the girl I once was and hope for the woman I am and will become. Some of these photos are a reflection of that transformational period of my life.
Imposter Syndrome. It's a psychological phenomenon that causes a person to constantly doubt their accomplishments and live in fear of being exposed as a fraud. Looking back I can see just how prevalent that was for me around this time. I doubted my work so much. One moment feeling so proud and elated that I created something I felt was so beautiful, no matter how dark the subject matter or feelings it evoked, and then the next moment that pride was violently ripped from me and I was left feeling under-accomplished and even embarrassed! Like, who was I, who am I to think I could attempt to make something like this and call it art? Thinking that if the photographers/artists that I looked up to saw my work, they would look on sympathetically like they would a 4 year old child presenting them with a stick figure drawing.
However, looking back, I am in awe of the creativity I possessed and know I still do, the difference between now and then being that I have learned so much more about working with light and operating a camera and bringing my vision to life. And with all this new growth and reflection, I have actually reached out to some of those photographers I looked up to so much.
For the last couple of years I began to get really wrapped up in the new direction of my photography, scheduling more couple shoots and family shoots and seeing a rise in weddings. I will NEVER regret the direction I've gone in and I feel fulfilled every day that I get to complete another shoot and connect with more people. I honestly feel blessed to be able to call this my job. But, mannnn, did I love going through these old photos. What’s not good is getting stuck in the past, becoming unable to live in the moment; but reflecting on the past is the key to moving forward and knowing what to focus on.
Are you a long time follower of mine? If so, I would love to hear your thoughts on my "Then and Now" and which style speaks to you the most! If you're new, I would still be absolutely delighted to hear from you!
Drop a comment below regarding your thoughts or send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org